Elaine

It is so hard to say good-bye. Looking over old pictures and thinking about Elaine with friends is bringing back so many memories. They bring a smile while also reminding me of the sadness of our loss. I am grateful for Elaine's friendship and the time we had together.

As did most of our moms' group, I met Elaine 6 years ago when I attended a new mom's class with her at El Camino Hospital. I started getting to know her when she volunteered to host our group's first group playdate at her home. That was so like Elaine, wanting to promote friendships and opening her home. That first playdate led to a series of playdates. These playdates were supposed to be "sit-and-plays" where half of the moms left their kids and went out and did errands/had fun, while the other half of the moms watched the kids. But, we all enjoyed each other so much that no one ever left - we all "sat." I have attached a picture of Elaine with Justin and my daughter Jessica (born two days apart) from one play date five years ago (May 2004).

Thinking about Elaine and our early playdates, I can't help but think about her home. Elaine was very particular about keeping her house neat and beautiful. It was always decorated for the season or a holiday - Easter, spring, 4th of July, summer... While amazingly clean and organized, her home was always welcoming, as was Elaine - gracious and welcoming.

At one point, Elaine and I would take weekly walk/jogs together with Justin and Jessica (who were born just two days apart) sitting in their strollers. We usually talked about the children and ourselves as mothers. We used this time to bounce parenting ideas off of each other (It seemed that Elaine was almost always reading a parenting book). Of course, we'd also take time to talk about ourselves too - hopes/dreams. Should we go back to work? If so, what should we do? What's the best way to fit in times for exercise? If we could remodel our homes, how would we do it? Occasionally, even a movie recommendation would fit in to the conversation. I wish I could remember the name of a love story that she really loved - I know she ended up owning a copy. As our friend Judy said so simply and perfectly at Elaine's service, "She was my friend."

One year, my husband and I were struggling with ideas on how to celebrate Amy's birthday. We had decided to go to a Pumpkin Patch as a family, thinking this would be perfect since it had ponies and Amy loved ponies.. Elaine and I were on email the night before and she warned me that the place would be too crowded. Although Elaine was completely busy with something else and it was fairly late at night, she found a book on places to go with kids in N. CA and found a different park that had ponies, a train, petting zoo, and a bounce house that we could take Amy to. Thanks to her, Amy had a perfect birthday that year. I have attached a picture of Elaine and Meredith with Amy and me celebrating Amy's first birthday, the year before (October, 2006).

I had forgotten until going through pictures... Our mom's group had a big yard sale to raise money for victims of the Indonesian Tsunami. Elaine of course would not have missed helping with that (for all I can recollect, she may have helped organize it). I found a couple pictures of her with Jen and Kari from that day (March 12, 2005). Elaine believed in giving to the community. Her participation in this was just one of many examples. In retrospect, our little trip out after the yard sale to gather signs was kind of funny. Elaine drove and I jumped out of the car to rip down signs. We stopped and pulled down a sign near an old farm ("The Pumpkin Patch" on Grant Road). I brought the sign over to the car and was about to put it in when I noted a GIANT black widow on the back of it, complete with the lovely red mark on its belly. It created a good deal of excitement and lots of nervous laughter as we drove the rest of the way, carefully inspecting each sign before putting it in the car.

Elaine liked to do things right. That included the details of mothering. I remember thinking she was amazing, and maybe crazy :), for deciding to make one of Justin's first (or maybe THE first) Halloween costume. Yes - by hand! How many people do that these days?! A little train engineer costume, I believe it was.

It was very important to Elaine to be a good friend. She would call or sometimes send a special little note (I couldn't believe it one year- I got a beautifully handwritten Valentines Day note from her!). She didn't forget a birthday or a special event.

Elaine loved food, definitely what I would call a "food-y." She always had restaurant recommendations - I hope I have them written down somewhere. I know during times when lives got so busy it was hard to find any personal time, she and Patrick would try to set aside a date night to go out and enjoy a favorite restaurant. Family and her marriage were so important to her, she really valued these date nights. After my second daughter was born, she didn't just bring me a meal, she brought a restaurant quality fresh meal that she must have spent hours preparing.

And her tomatoes... For some reason, maybe because spring is coming, I can't stop remembering Elaine and her tomato plants. She loved planting her beautiful garden and she had so many wonderful plants. She would of course share tomatoes with us. Right now, for me, her vibrance and generosity and ability to find time for extra projects... all that is tied in mind with her tomato plants.

We will miss her.

Love, Lynette